The India Story - Sacrifice

Another lesson I learned while in India was this: I have no right to a comfortable life. Jesus didn't come to make things easy; he came to bring his kingdom to the lost and needy. This was exemplified in the sacrifices I saw made by "A.L.D" (the overseer of the orphanage and the head of the pastor training school) and his family and many of the pastors who attended the conference.

Bihar is a State in Northern India and shares its northern border with Nepal. While Bihar is a very fertile land, it "lags behind the other Indian states in human and economic development terms, whilst ethnic Biharis living in other states of India are victims of racist hate crimes and prejudice" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bihar). Basically, it is very poor and lacks the infrastructure needed to provide adequate resources to the people living there. The city we visited is most definitely a poor city and, for many, quite undesirable to live in. Part of the problem is that when people there become educated, they move away instead of staying to provide economic stability and growth.

A.L.D. chose to move his family to Bihar, knowing the undesirability of the city he was going to (read more about A.L.D.'s story here). This was a sacrifice he made in response to God that his daughter has also made. After attending college to become a teacher, A.L.D.'s daughter returned to her family to help teach the children in the orphanage and the surrounding community. Instead of moving away, as many educated do, she is sacrificing a comfortable life in a large, modern Indian city to live in the poorest state in India. A.L.D.'s family of 4 adults and two children are responsible for caring for over 20 orphans who range in age from around 6 - 15 years old, and they are building a facility that will allow them to care for up to 100 children! For A.L.D.'s wife and daughter, their daily lives revolve around caring for and loving these children. Not much time or energy is spent to make their own lives better or simpler. Life in Bihar has not been easy: A.L.D. has been threatened at gunpoint to leave the city; children have thrown rocks at his home and his family; but over time, the local people have accepted his presence there, and they have begun to have a positive effect in the surrounding city.

A.L.D and family*

A.L.D. not only oversees the orphanage, he runs a pastor training school to educate local and regional Christians to be capable of teaching God's word and leading a church. We had the wonderful opportunity to meet and talk with some of the pastors that A.L.D. has trained during the time we were in Bihar. They shared stories of Christians, both pastors and lay-people, who have been threatened and/or murdered in the violence following the killing of a Hindu leader that was blamed on Christians in August 2008 in the Indian state of Orissa. A.L.D. shared with us that many of the pastors he knew from that region would call him and say they have been threatened and would ask him what to do. He reminded them that God was their protector and that He would keep them safe. None of the pastors that A.L.D. spoke with have been harmed in any way, but many Christian families and missionaries have been chased from their homes or killed.

Meeting these people made me recognize that persecution is real. And, it comes not just from religious sects - in many towns in India and the surrounding countries there are laws that affect Christian lay people and pastors. One pastor shared that he has been refused entry to certain towns because the leaders know he is a Christian and an evangelist and do not want him "converting" their people. We also heard of laws that limit a Christian's political rights and ability to do business. We were told that some states require you to register with the government before you adopt Christianity as your religion so that they are aware of the Christians in their region. The part that was life changing to me was that even amidst this persecution, these men stand steadfast and praise God loudly and passionately!


The pastors worshiping at the Christian Worker's conference*


*Photo and video courtesy of Steve Hurry

The India Story - Adopted

One of the other results of this trip was a major change in attitude in my heart about another topic. Matt and I have considered adoption for years now. Neither of us has ever given international adoption any thought at all. Recently, I had begun to become pretty comfortable with our family: 2 kids, 2 adults, its fun, its easy, it makes sense. I had begun to move away from the idea of adoption for 2 reasons – life would be harder with 3 kids, and my questioning whether I could really love a child that wasn’t my own.

On this trip God showed me that it is possible to love a child that isn't biologically yours so much that they feel like your own. And this can happen in only a matter of days. I fell in love with a 9 year old girl who is part of the orphanage we visited in India. When I left the orphanage I cried like I cried when I left my own children, because I felt like I was leaving a child behind. This was so surprising to me, because I wasn’t sure I was capable of bonding like that with any child that quickly, let alone with a child from another culture. Again, as I recognized that I was not promised a comfortable life, I began to see that this might apply to my family as well. While 2 parents/2 kids might be the most comfortable life, it may not be the life God has for me. We all become adopted as God's children through Christ: "For he chose us in [Christ] before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." I believe if God is capable of reconciling me to himself to where I have truly become His daughter, then He can bring a child into a family that is not of their bloodline, but who becomes their own.

The ServLife orphanage doesn’t adopt out, or you would all be hearing that I was in the process of gaining a new daughter! It was so hard to leave "my child" behind, but God showed me something in the pain of leaving her as well: I cannot claim any child as mine - they all belong to him; the ones He's given me to care for and every other child in the world. As hard as it was to leave my own children in His care while I went across the world, and as hard as it was to leave my "spiritual daughter" in India, they are all in God’s care. I learned that God can care for the people I love without my help – I need to live into the place He has me for the time that I am there and love the people He puts in my life. When I am not with them, I can be praying for them. That is the way that I can be actively serving God. Who knows, that may include another child in the future. One from another culture I'm not familiar with - a child I haven’t even met, but who will truly belong to our family.

My "daughter" in India

Oppression

Warning: This post contains some difficult subjects including the topic of sexual slavery. Please consider who might be reading over your shoulder before continuing.

Last night I stopped by my kids' room to check on them before turning out the lights and heading to bed. Anna was asleep sideways on her bed with her feet hanging off the side. Eli was only partially covered and his bare arms looked cold. I moved Anna back onto her pillow, covered them both, and stood gazing at them from the door. My heart was so filled up and I was thinking "I love them so much!" I saw at Eli clinging tightly to his stuffed animal and recognized the comfort that little toy was bringing him as he slept deeply and peacefully. Then the thought came to mind: there are children in the world who live lives of horror every day; children Eli's age who are sold into sexual slavery; children who have no one to tuck them in at night and fear what each morning will bring; children who have nothing to cling to to bring them security. There is a child right now who is being raped for profit. I walked toward my room and had to stop in the bathroom because I was weeping. My heart cried out to God: How long will you allow evil to crush the innocent? How long until you make it right? The words of the psalmist seemed to fit my feelings best:

3 How long will the wicked, O LORD,
how long will the wicked be jubilant?

⁴ They pour out arrogant words;
all the evildoers are full of boasting.

⁵ They crush your people, O LORD;
they oppress your inheritance.

⁶ They slay the widow and the alien;
they murder the fatherless.

⁷ They say, "The LORD does not see;
the God of Jacob pays no heed."

- Ps 94:3-7

I have been reading some books lately that have really opened my eyes to the world as it truly is today, in more parts of the world than we want to realize. It started with reading the book Sold. It is a fictional story about a Nepali girl tricked into living a life of sexual slavery. I read it in one day. It was so compelling because the author based the story on her personal experiences of meeting women just like the character in the book. Most often these young teens were told by an acquaintance that there was a job for them in the city that would help them provide for their families, only to be sold by their new "friends" to a brothel. The women are given no hope of ever escaping from this life, and therefore live lives without hope at all. For over a week after reading Sold I could hardly do anything without feeling grief. Grief for the millions who are forced into slavery in one way or another around the world each day. Grief for the children who have their innocence stolen from them and are forever damaged by the loss.

The other book I have been reading is Terrify No More. It is the real life account of Gary Haugen, president of International Justice Mission (IJM) and his team's mission to rescue children from sexual slavery in Cambodia. The book recounts many of IJM's successes at bringing justice to opressors and freeing the oppressed, but its focus is on a raid in one particular town in Cambodia where children as young as 5 years old were being openly sold for prostitution. After months of scouting the area, gaining support from the government, and training the local police force they conducted the raid and were able to rescue over 20 girls, at least 10 of whom were under 10 years old. As I read this book I am constantly being reminded that this could easily be my child if I happened to live in a developing country where the government simply does not have the resources to combat the disease that is human trafficking.

My heart has two reactions to all of this. The first is deep and longing grief for those who are suffering. The other is anger and frustration that evildoers are allowed to prosper; that people are actually making money off of the suffering of others. Many people come against these same feelings and it causes them to question or turn away from God. They wonder how a omnipotent and good God could allow such injustice in the world. Since they can't reconcile the idea of a loving God with the overwhelming oppression we see in the world they conclude that there really is no God. I however have the opposite response. I see what sin has done in this world. It has made us greedy. It has made us blind to the plight of the voiceless. But I see the fact that there are organizations and individuals willing to sacrifice their time, their financial security, and even their lives for the sake of the oppressed as evidence of God's Spirit at work in the world. That love and passion, the desire to make circumstances better for the opressed, to heal their wounds and remove them from a place of despair, and to bring them to a place of joy and peace; THAT is the evidence of God. I know that ever since I prayed that prayer "I want my heart to expand outside of myself" before leaving for India, God has been doing just that. As His Spirit works inside me I respond with a passion, love, and willingness to sacrifice that I did not have before. I am able to want less and give more; I am satisfied with what I do have; I am burdened with an expectant hope for the future - one that I have a part to play in.

While I cannot fully comprehend the timing of our God, I believe that He is holding out his judgment in waiting for the oppressors to repent. In the mean time He wants His people to be His voice of justice in the world. We cannot stand by and see people being crushed and not respond. I don't know exactly what that looks like for me (I do know this post is part of it), and I most certainly don't know what that looks like for you. But I am confident that if we are willing, God will show us how to respond until His final word is spoken. As the psalmist writes later in the same passage:

¹⁴ For the LORD will not reject his people;
he will never forsake his inheritance.

¹⁵ Judgment will again be founded on righteousness,
and all the upright in heart will follow it.

- Ps 94:14-15 (emphasis mine)

The India Story - To His Glory

After landing in Nepal and driving to Bihar, India, I realized that I am quite naive to the quality of living and needs around the world. I recognized a day or two into our trip that the hardship and despair I saw in India was reality for those people; they were not just putting on a show for me, the visiting American. I know that sounds ridiculous, but for a while, I think I was seeing the whole thing as if watching a movie - nothing seemed real. I think I had convinced myself that life couldn't be as bad as people make it look on TV. But I soon began to see that for many many people in the world, life is nothing like the ease and comfort I've become familiar with. Seeing the desperate situations many of the people in India endured made me realize how much I had been leaning on the world to provide my sense of comfort and sense of self.

Also, God showed me that my identity can not be found in the things of this world or the praise of men. This didn't necessarily come from any one experience or sight, but just something that God spoke quietly into my heart over the time we were there. Over the past year I have been struggling to find my “place” as a mom. I have felt the need to be more than what I am – to try to make a name for myself somehow. But I realized that making a name for myself outside of where God has placed me is selfish, arrogant, and destructive. It only brings me to a place of discontentment with God. This doesn't mean I'm never allowed to do things where people praise me, but that I can't do it for the sake of their praise.

This was a hard lesson for me, but something that I really needed to hear! I came home with a whole new outlook on my job as a mom. I still am not perfect, but I have found myself enjoying my kids and my responsibilities again! I am so thankful that God didn't allow me to continue seeking my own glory over His.

The India Story - Overview

There is so much I could share about my trip. I have over a thousand photos collected from all the members of our team I could put on here that would only give you a taste of all that I saw and experienced. This is what I hope to be the first in a series of posts where I share about my time in India and Nepal.

First I'll share a quick overview of our trip:
We had a team of 9 people from my church, Common Ground Christian Church who went on the trip. The leader of our team was Steve, a staff member from ServLife International (the ministry we were visiting) and a member of Common Ground.

Back Row (L-R): Jen, Carrie, Dustin, Jessica, Jana, Steve
Front Row (L-R): Vanessa, Me, Alicia

It was about a 2 day trip through Incheon, South Korea and Kathmandu, Nepal; plus a short commuter flight and a 1 hr drive to reach Bihar, India. We stayed in Bihar in the ServLife orphanage/pastor training school for about 6 days where we played with and loved on the kids and attended/spoke at the annual indigenous Indian pastor’s conference. Then we flew back Kathmandu and stayed there for 2 days where we visited two ServLife ministries there. Then we took about two days to return home.


View Larger Map

I wanted to go on this trip to get outside of myself. To see the world as many experience it instead of as I experience it every day. I had been feeling very lukewarm about my walk with God for a long time. I thought this just might jump-start things. It was scary to go, but I had a lot of hope for what would happen. We stayed overnight in South Korea on our way to India, and I was missing my family and scared about what was coming. This was the prayer that started my trip: "Bring peace to the unease of my heart! No, wait; don't bring peace… peace breeds complacency. Challenge me! Stretch me! Grow me! I want my heart to expand outside of myself.” I should have known that God would answer my prayer!

The India Story - Culture Shock

This is what I was faced with when I arrived in India that first day:



Talk about culture shock! Everywhere we went, we were oddities. People stopped, stared, and sometimes even pointed at us because we were unusual. I recognized maybe for the first time in my life that Caucasians are not the majority every where on earth. I am not culturally biased; I have friends of different color and backgrounds, but living in middle-class, Midwestern suburbia has distorted my view of the world significantly. Somewhere in my subconscious mind I began to believe that my experience of life was typical across the globe, even when my conscious mind knew this was false. I also came to the recognition that Caucasians are not the only facet of God. We were ALL created in His image: Caucasian, African, Indian, Asian - we are all displaying parts of our Creator. The American image of a white Jesus with light eyes and blondish hair is just as inaccurate as my image of a white King sitting on His throne in heaven. In my time in India and Nepal I fell in love with the Indian/Asian people and culture. I found beauty where before I had only found unfamiliarity. This was a true blessing to me.



All the photos and video in this post are from Steve Hurry, one of the members of our team, and the ServLife staff member on our trip. Many thanks to Steve for allowing use of his photos on my blog! The photos are really amazing. If you're interested, you can view them full-size here.