On this trip God showed me that it is possible to love a child that isn't biologically yours so much that they feel like your own. And this can happen in only a matter of days. I fell in love with a 9 year old girl who is part of the orphanage we visited in India. When I left the orphanage I cried like I cried when I left my own children, because I felt like I was leaving a child behind. This was so surprising to me, because I wasn’t sure I was capable of bonding like that with any child that quickly, let alone with a child from another culture. Again, as I recognized that I was not promised a comfortable life, I began to see that this might apply to my family as well. While 2 parents/2 kids might be the most comfortable life, it may not be the life God has for me. We all become adopted as God's children through Christ: "For he chose us in [Christ] before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves." I believe if God is capable of reconciling me to himself to where I have truly become His daughter, then He can bring a child into a family that is not of their bloodline, but who becomes their own.
The ServLife orphanage doesn’t adopt out, or you would all be hearing that I was in the process of gaining a new daughter! It was so hard to leave "my child" behind, but God showed me something in the pain of leaving her as well: I cannot claim any child as mine - they all belong to him; the ones He's given me to care for and every other child in the world. As hard as it was to leave my own children in His care while I went across the world, and as hard as it was to leave my "spiritual daughter" in India, they are all in God’s care. I learned that God can care for the people I love without my help – I need to live into the place He has me for the time that I am there and love the people He puts in my life. When I am not with them, I can be praying for them. That is the way that I can be actively serving God. Who knows, that may include another child in the future. One from another culture I'm not familiar with - a child I haven’t even met, but who will truly belong to our family.